brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
