Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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