Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
