if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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