I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
