Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
