I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
