What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
