i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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