He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pants are for mortals
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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