so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
