I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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