What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
