Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
