Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
