He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
