Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
