What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
