I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just tell him i said nine months
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
