Quick, to the slutcave!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
