My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
