I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
