I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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