Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
