omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have post one night stand depression
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
