To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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