Whod you bang
420 ftw
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So much rum. So many feels.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
