He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
