What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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