Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
