I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
