I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
