Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
