so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
