she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
