just tell him i said nine months
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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