happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
3pm strippers are depressing
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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