I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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