you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
