So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
