It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He keeps bees of course he's weird
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
