..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
honey bunches of taint.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
