There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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