Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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