Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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