That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
