i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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