This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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