i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
