I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm always down for nudity.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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